The family dynamic, especially around holidays, is something to be observed and reflected upon. While all families are different, there are some key similarities that we all hold. I recently lost my dad, just two weeks before Christmas. I know we all had thoughts about how much this would affect the holidays and that his absence would be felt. In a way, it sort of felt like we didn't have a right to enjoy this holiday with his such recent passing, but Dad wouldn't have wanted that at all.
That really got me thinking about how I am truly at a midpoint in my life. Many of us come to an epiphany of sorts during these times of the year (Epiphany is celebrated this year on January 6th, 2026). I recall years past of my own grandparents coming to stay with us during the holidays. There are scads of memories of extended family holiday parties with aunts, uncles and cousins. The young carefree child that I was never realized that their presence was fleeting in the big scheme of things. While we mark someone's passing with a profound sadness, reverence and longing for the past, it's important to remember that life is a cycle of sorts and we must take the dark with all of the light.
I have two brothers and between our three families, we have 9 kids. Looking back, I can recall each Christmas where we added a significant other after a marriage. What a joy it was to add someone to the flock! There was a Christmas that I spent in the hospital trying like heck not to let my twins make their early arrival and my family all came to try and make that year's holiday special (with Chinese takeout and all!). Each year that a baby was born into the family, that made Christmas that much more special (sometimes there were two babies added in a year).
Just as regularly as the sun takes its trip around the sun, families change too. It's the same for all of us (if we are so lucky). We see the constant ebb and flow of members coming and going, births and deaths. The family grows and so do our hearts. You cannot take one moment in time and paint the picture of your family. It is literally a reel of moments, all strung together. Maybe we take stock of this more during the Christmas season. Maybe we should. For me and my friends of the Christian faith, we celebrate Christmas, but also recognize that the cross is also a part of our year of faith.
At this crossroads Christmas, I am taking a long look back and a hopeful look forward. I don't look back in complete and utter sadness, but with a deep sense of gratitude for all that I have had in my life so far. Would my dad and grandparents and others who have gone before them want us to focus only on what was? Absolutely not. We can remember and go forward making new memories and be hopeful for the new family members we have not yet met! I am thankful for what my family has built. I truly hope that I and the others of my generation are doing the same so that someday, the next generation can look back the same way I am doing now.
May your Christmases be merry and bright, hopeful and joyous, and your homes be filled with the wonder and peace that the birth of Christ brings to each of us!
-Erica
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